Understanding Relationship Challenges

Relationships are probably one of the most challenging experiences in life. The reason for this is that you want people to like you, you want to be accepted. To achieve this, most people compromise themselves which means they do not express their true feelings at the risk of being rejected. This will work for a short period of time, however eventually resentment will start to build up simply because you are not being true to yourself. You have just started to live your life through your partner instead of living your life with your partner.

Being honest about your feelings and opinions sounds easy, so why don’t people do it? There are many reasons for people not knowing how to articulate their feelings. Expressing feelings of anger or pain does not have to be expressed in a toxic manner for you to get your message across. Learning how to communicate effectively allows your partner or close ones to understand what you are feeling, this is not going to happen if you are screaming or yelling at them, all that will achieve is an inflamed situation that potentially turns into an explosive argument.

Relationships are a combination of two personalities working together, this means that you are not going to see eye to eye on everything in life. If you do, then one of you is not being honest. Flexibility and understanding what is important to your partner is crucial to a healthy relationship. You are in a relationship because you have things to learn from each other, the initial attraction was not a coincidence. It will not work if you think you are the one that is always right or constantly want your own way, you may as well forget having a partner and stick to having a relationship with yourself. Of course if you choose to do that you are choosing to ignore what you need to learn regarding communication.

Most relationship issues are relatively small and can be fixed when you learn to understand what triggers your moods and emotions. It goes without saying that the longer you hold things in the bigger the mountain of resentment gets, therefore the sooner you take action to resolve the problems arising the easier it is to change the offending behaviour. One must remember when character assassination occurs in a heated situation the accusation cannot be taken back. You may forget what you said as time goes by but your partner, family member or close friend will not. It is one more stab in the heart that leaves a scar that only time and a change in your behaviour can heal.

It is almost impossible to be totally experienced at relationships, this is because no matter how many you have had the next person will be different to the last. Past relationship experiences often create emotional damage leaving the person that deserves the most of you receiving the least.

There are fundamental pre-requisites to healthy relationships that must be adhered to otherwise it will be destined for disaster sooner or later, these pre-requisites apply to all relationships not just relationships of an intimate nature.

Where does counselling come into this?

Many people talk to their friends as they often lend a sympathetic ear, however this does not always provide a productive and  unbiased solution. Your friends are not always the best people to speak to regarding relationship problems. Friends don’t like to take sides, don’t want to hurt your feelings and are often bias, finding it difficult to be completely honest with you. A skilful, counsellor will find the root of the real issue’s and suggest appropriate strategies to change the dynamics that have caused  frustrations in the relationship. Commitment from both sides to creating a healthy relationship is the first step to succeeding in having one.


Anxiety, Panic Attacks & Depression

How we believe people perceive and accept us is vital to a healthy mental state. A lack of confidence, low self-esteem or a pessimistic attitude toward life will generally lead to a feeling of being out of control, a feeling that can affect your ability to cope with daily activities and life. In many cases the assistance of medication is prescribed when one feels they are spiraling out of control.

Our mind is a powerful tool that has the ability to either make us feel good or make us feel as though we are losing our grip on reality. This all depends on the way it has been trained to think. When the mind is in a negative frame of thought it will talk back to you, telling you how stupid you are, inadequate, and many more statements that will create stress and insecurity affecting your health and well-being.

In life if you learn how to live day by day and handle situations as they happen there is no focus for fear to exist. Most of the time fear is generated by worrying about the past or the future, the past we have no control over and the future does not exist. A lot of energy is spent on worrying about things that cannot be changed or things that have not happened yet and probably never will! By learning to live more in the present and focusing on what is happening now will alleviate 90% of your worries and stress.

People who suffer from anxiety, stress or depression usually have very busy minds and have a tendency to over analyze which is a large portion of the problem.The pattern of negative thinking or a busy mind usually stems from someone close, it could be a sibling, parent, teachers or guardian to name a few. Often the pressures of high expectation we put on ourselves can lead to unwarranted  feelings of personal failure
and disappointment.

Constant insecurity and fear are like dark clouds waiting to rain on any good day you might have. These traits do not trust that you have ability and competence and constantly sabotage your enthusiasm. For this reason your periods of high spirits are often short lived.

At Breakthrough Counselling, Julie assists people in training the mind to be more peaceful, teaching strategies and techniques to overcome its habitual toxic way of thinking. Stress will never be totally eradicated from your life, however, most potential stressful situations can be avoided with the right attitude.

Discover What Is Affecting Your Well-Being

Happiness is something we all strive for but for many, it is a goal that appears unobtainable. Thinking correctly is imperative for a healthy attitude towards yourself and life.

Low self esteem is one of the most common causes of unhappiness. Unpleasant experiences throughout life may leave emotional scars that make us feel inadequate, socially and intellectually.

Many people use food, alcohol or cigarettes to mask their emotions whilst others may sabotage relationships or lack direction in life.

Happiness can be improved by understanding life experiences that have affected your well-being. These experiences may cause you to doubt the way people perceive you, impacting negatively on your self expression. This often results in loss of confidence, leading to unhappy feelings and thoughts.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is learning how to react appropriately. It could be considered more important than having a high IQ. If you lack the skills involved in emotional intelligence, you will often create negative outcomes in your life.

Life can be challenging, how we deal with challenges affects our overall sense of well-being. When your reactions do not create a desired response because of your inability to handle a situation, it can seriously affect your relationships, potential to reach goals, lead to bad eating or drinking habits, causing flatness, insecurity and lack of confidence.

Breakthrough Counselling helps people dismantle these barriers that are preventing them from creating healthy relationships and sabotaging their ability to find contentment and happiness.

Change your life by learning how to handle situations  and others in a more effective way.

Learn How To Take Control Of Your Life

Sometimes we may experience an overwhelming struggle to hold our head high and maintain a positive outlook.

The objective of Breakthrough Counselling is to identify negative belief patterns that are affecting an individual’s well-being, confidence and self- esteem.

Using specific techniques we identify the original experiences that have caused a person to develop negative beliefs. These thought patterns often stem from childhood and influence one’s ability to see clearly. Connecting allows the individual to see ‘the bigger picture’ from an adult perspective. This is a breakthrough that greatly assists in diffusing beliefs that have sabotaged their potential growth.

It is about changing destructive belief systems that have been present and developed a power of their own. When this happens, the belief can become so powerful that a person feels incapable of changing.

Life is about change, anything can change, even those stubborn personal demons.